Folks , we all have had some bad times. This Blog is about myself and my trails and tribulations. Just wanting you all too know , that I, myself, are not perfect, I do have flaws, And since, this blog is centered around Everyone has flaws no one's perfect . I have my own story to tell. It's not really a flaw but, I'll let you be the judge of that. Here is my story .
This month of June has been bitter-sweet for me. My mom was murdered on June 23,1986. She was a beautiful woman who loved everyone and always saw the good in a person. My mom, had me, when she was a tender age of 15 years old. I was the first grandchild ever to be born in my grandmother's house in West Bay Grand Cayman. My mom left me with my grandparents to go to New York and be with her aunt. My mom , found some work in Long Island and this is where she met my Step dad. Mr. Owens, gentleman,as he is today raised me and he was the only father that I had known , besides my grandfather. I was only three, when momma came back to get me. My dad told me the story about how he met momma, and how beautiful she was. He would say "when your mother opened the door I got struck by cupid's arrow in the rear" "In the rear daddy?" Yes , this was true , he fell so deeply madly in love. They dated for a while but, he wanted to take this relationship to another level. Dad did ask mom, to marry him. She replied "No , I can't marry you, I have a daughter back home " He said , that that was no problem and that is when she came to get me. So all these years we lived good , momma had her bread buttered on both sides. Then, I had a baby brother, I was 6 going on 7 and had missing teeth . What a sight when I look back at my pictures. My brother, and I grew up together. Then , the worst, happened, Momma was not happy with her life and she decided to end her marriage and dad was devastated , so were we. They got divorced and times were rough, but dad was always around and he never forsake us. He is the ideal dad still today. In between all of that, momma, had another relationship and out came another baby boy. He was beautiful , and still is today. Well moving right along, I moved to South Carolina, and went to High school and graduated . My 2 grandmother's were there on June 5th 1981 to see me walk across the stage ,boy was my momma proud of me.
after graduation, I went back to New York. I showed all of my friends my diploma most of my friends were still in school getting ready to graduate and such. But I was the big kid, I got my diploma and ever thing else first, I bragged. I have a best friend that can't compare to none. She has always been around for me and vise-versa. Moving right along, I lived with my brother and my dad for a little while. My youngest brother, was living with his dad. Mom left him when he was three. She said ,"that was the hardest thing that she had ever done" I cried , and crying while I'm writing this . I tried everything to make things right for my little brother, I even moved
to Brooklyn and stayed in the same apartment that I grew up in. I then moved back home,and starting dating a gentle man who lived in my apartment building. Back home is far rock away Queens. We got married against my dads wishes, but I felt trapped, always helping out never doing anything for my self. Boy If I could take back somethings I would . Now daddy raised us to be believers in Jesus and I still do! We went to church all the time. Daddy was very good to us!
AS I move along, being married had it's ups and downs,My husband was very good to me. He is from Trinidad and Tobago we are no longer together. Then came the bad news one day. I was working at woolworth, and when I came back from lunch , my co-worker said "There was a young man looking for you" Well the young man was my brother, He said to me while at work that he just received news that momma had been shot,. I replied , Oh is she ok where is she is she in the hospital? My brother placed his hand over my mouth and said, she's in the hospital but in the morgue. I fainted I know that much, when I came to, I could not breathe all I could do was cry . Coming home from that was not good, I called my husband and he came home right away. I had to call my other step father and he said he just got the news. I cried even more, thinking about my baby brother who was at least 7 going on 8 . I rushed to him and he was sad, he hardly knew momma. Again we still deal with this problem. I went back to Cayman, to bury my mom, she was shot three times and the person who did this to her killed someone else that same night. The deaths were not related they say. Momma was going to leave this man,but it was too late.
After,leaving New York and my marriage was not going any better, I decided that I would go back and take care of my mother's belongings. A few months passed by , my sister in law told me that my husband is expecting. I said "expecting what" She replied "a baby" I said ok ,then I contacted him and come to find out that he already had become a dad. I wished him well and said to him "This baby will need you more then I would " and we should get a divorce. He didn't like the idea but what are you gonna do? We are not together, and I'm thousand of miles away.
After all this I had a relationship with one of my friends that I would play with while visiting my grandparents in the Cayman's. So when I came back to Cayman , I looked great and so did he. So you know what happened! We dated for awhile and I went back to New York and filed for my
divorce, then I headed back to the Cayman Islands missing my boyfriend . We were in love .
I started feeling ill, got the news that I am pregnant, I was 25 at the time. I was excited, about being a mom and having my first baby. I was a few months pregnant when my divorce came through and was happy about that. Then June rolled in, I was about to have my baby. My due date was June 22,nd 1989, but she came on the 21st of June. Then it finally hit me ,after having all this joy it was also sad for me because my momma was not there and this was the 3rd anniversary of her death. So I was happy then sad.
Abuse rolled in and then I had to leave my daughters father, and got hooked up with another guy who I had a son by. That was no better. So I had my 2 children before I reached 30. My daughter who is 20 now just celebrated her birthday and my mom who has been gone for 23 years now and it still hurts. I did remarry . He was my high school friend we got married on March 25,th 2006 and he treats me so special, WE all have our ups and downs , who doesn't . My son the "Ladies Man" is 17 and will be 18 this December. He will graduate in 2010 thank god. now after having said all of this. I quess your are wondering why It's ok to cry. It's been rough, this month and having to miss my momma, and losing a wonderful person that we all know and love ,Yes Michael Jackson, made me feel that I just lost another family member. I do miss the times when momma would play his albums and we would dance.
Well folks, this is my story, and I know IT'S OKAY TO CRY !
Be Well.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
It's Ok To Cry !
Folks , we all have had some bad times. This Blog is about myself and my trails and tribulations. Just wanting you all too know , that I, myself, are not perfect, I do have flaws, And since, this blog is centered around Everyone has flaws no one's perfect . I have my own story to tell. It's not really a flaw but, I'll let you be the judge of that. Here is my story .
This month of June has been bitter-sweet for me. My mom was murdered on June 23,1986. She was a beautiful woman who loved everyone and always saw the good in a person. My mom, had me, when she was a tender age of 15 years old. I was the first grandchild ever to be born in my grandmother's house in West Bay Grand Cayman. My mom left me with my grandparents to go to New York and be with her aunt. My mom , found some work in Long Island and this is where she met my Step dad. Mr. Owens, gentleman,as he is today raised me and he was the only father that I had known , besides my grandfather. I was only three, when momma came back to get me. My dad told me the story about how he met momma, and how beautiful she was. He would say "when your mother opened the door I got struck by cupid's arrow in the rear" "In the rear daddy?" Yes , this was true , he fell so deeply madly in love. They dated for a while but, he wanted to take this relationship to another level. Dad did ask mom, to marry him. She replied "No , I can't marry you, I have a daughter back home " He said , that that was no problem and that is when she came to get me. So all these years we lived good , momma had her bread buttered on both sides. Then, I had a baby brother, I was 6 going on 7 and had missing teeth . What a sight when I look back at my pictures. My brother, and I grew up together. Then , the worst, happened, Momma was not happy with her life and she decided to end her marriage and dad was devastated , so were we. They got divorced and times were rough, but dad was always around and he never forsake us. He is the ideal dad still today. In between all of that, momma, had another relationship and out came another baby boy. He was beautiful , and still is today. Well moving right along, I moved to South Carolina, and went to High school and graduated . My 2 grandmother's were there on June 5th 1981 to see me walk across the stage ,boy was my momma proud of me.
after graduation, I went back to New York. I showed all of my friends my diploma most of my friends were still in school getting ready to graduate and such. But I was the big kid, I got my diploma and ever thing else first, I bragged. I have a best friend that can't compare to none. She has always been around for me and vise-versa. Moving right along, I lived with my brother and my dad for a little while. My youngest brother, was living with his dad. Mom left him when he was three. She said ,"that was the hardest thing that she had ever done" I cried , and crying while I'm writing this . I tried everything to make things right for my little brother, I even moved
to Brooklyn and stayed in the same apartment that I grew up in. I then moved back home,and starting dating a gentle man who lived in my apartment building. Back home is far rock away Queens. We got married against my dads wishes, but I felt trapped, always helping out never doing anything for my self. Boy If I could take back somethings I would . Now daddy raised us to be believers in Jesus and I still do! We went to church all the time. Daddy was very good to us!
AS I move along, being married had it's ups and downs,My husband was very good to me. He is from Trinidad and Tobago we are no longer together. Then came the bad news one day. I was working at woolworth, and when I came back from lunch , my co-worker said "There was a young man looking for you" Well the young man was my brother, He said to me while at work that he just received news that momma had been shot,. I replied , Oh is she ok where is she is she in the hospital? My brother placed his hand over my mouth and said, she's in the hospital but in the morgue. I fainted I know that much, when I came to, I could not breathe all I could do was cry . Coming home from that was not good, I called my husband and he came home right away. I had to call my other step father and he said he just got the news. I cried even more, thinking about my baby brother who was at least 7 going on 8 . I rushed to him and he was sad, he hardly knew momma. Again we still deal with this problem. I went back to Cayman, to bury my mom, she was shot three times and the person who did this to her killed someone else that same night. The deaths were not related they say. Momma was going to leave this man,but it was too late.
After,leaving New York and my marriage was not going any better, I decided that I would go back and take care of my mother's belongings. A few months passed by , my sister in law told me that my husband is expecting. I said "expecting what" She replied "a baby" I said ok ,then I contacted him and come to find out that he already had become a dad. I wished him well and said to him "This baby will need you more then I would " and we should get a divorce. He didn't like the idea but what are you gonna do? We are not together, and I'm thousand of miles away.
After all this I had a relationship with one of my friends that I would play with while visiting my grandparents in the Cayman's. So when I came back to Cayman , I looked great and so did he. So you know what happened! We dated for awhile and I went back to New York and filed for my
divorce, then I headed back to the Cayman Islands missing my boyfriend . We were in love .
I started feeling ill, got the news that I am pregnant, I was 25 at the time. I was excited, about being a mom and having my first baby. I was a few months pregnant when my divorce came through and was happy about that. Then June rolled in, I was about to have my baby. My due date was June 22,nd 1989, but she came on the 21st of June. Then it finally hit me ,after having all this joy it was also sad for me because my momma was not there and this was the 3rd anniversary of her death. So I was happy then sad.
Abuse rolled in and then I had to leave my daughters father, and got hooked up with another guy who I had a son by. That was no better. So I had my 2 children before I reached 30. My daughter who is 20 now just celebrated her birthday and my mom who has been gone for 23 years now and it still hurts. I did remarry . He was my high school friend we got married on March 25,th 2006 and he treats me so special, WE all have our ups and downs , who doesn't . My son the "Ladies Man" is 17 and will be 18 this December. He will graduate in 2010 thank god. now after having said all of this. I quess your are wondering why It's ok to cry. It's been rough, this month and having to miss my momma, and losing a wonderful person that we all know and love ,Yes Michael Jackson, made me feel that I just lost another family member. I do miss the times when momma would play his albums and we would dance.
Well folks, this is my story, and I know IT'S OKAY TO CRY !
Be Well.
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